The purpose of this paper is to present the opinion of long-term caregivers of demented relatives about when “we” should die. The conclusion was that experienced long-term carers of severely dementia incapacitated relatives consider a critera for a mature/ ripe death to be “non-self-handling” and “when no future exists”. At least two-thirds consider that those they care for die after their time and with the exception of one carer, who avoided answering, everyone expressed the opinion that they would want to die earlier than those they care for if they were in their place. It is speculated that a statistically representative sample of caregivers from across the country would give similar answers; however, a well-designed quantitative study is needed to substantiate or reject this conjecture.